California

For some reason earlier today I was remembering my trip to California and God's faithfulness and perfect provisions for me. I remember in the fall of that year asking Laura to pray for me about the possibility of going to California for the summer to take a class at Biola and nanny for Peter and Jackie. I was trusting God for good things and He did not disappoint. It was very exciting for me both getting to step out in faith to trust God for big things but also just going to California. It was definitely the furtherst I had gone by myself. My first night I was so glad to get to the campus. It was evening. The halls were bare since it was summer. I would learn that there were a couple to a few people on the hall, but I sure didn't see anyone. My room was also bare but I could look out into a beautiful garden. The RA's were friendly and I was grateful for them. My first night I sat on my floor ready to pray and wind down for the night. I was so thankful so I surprised myself to start crying. Why am I crying? (I was not one to cry for "no reason"). I realized that I was lonely. Then, I realized it was really good to cry without hurting. My tears were welcome even though I had to enter into the sadness. The next morning I skipped breakfast in the cafeteria. Instead, I ate a couple of oatmeal raisin cookies, a handful of almonds, and a handful of dried cranberries that Nana Linda had bought for me from Trader Joes (my first Trader Joes experience!). Actually, she had made the cookies. Then, I went running. It was a nice long run around the beautiful neighborhoods. The weather was so cool I felt like I could run forever. Back for a shower. Then, a walk around campus to familiarize myself. There were people walking around campus and some smiled at me. I smiled back but I was actually on the verge of tears. No one knew I didn't no anyone and I was so lonely. I was dreading going to the cafeteria to eat. For some reason that was a really big deal to me. I couldn't bear having to be alone AND eat alone. I am sure I prayed. And He answered. To my relief, one of the maintenance men asked if I wanted to sit with them. I was so relieved and thankful. They were really nice and told me they weren't there during the weekends but during the week I was welcome to sit with them anytime. During the week, I enjoyed my routine. Breakfast. Run. Shower. Study. Lunch. Study. Walk. Supper. Class. Bed. But as the weekend approached I was dreading it. The thought of a whole lonely weekend in amazing California without any way to explore or anyone around was not a happy thought. The only thing in walking distance was Albertsons. I spoke with the family and you that Thursday night and I don't remember if I cried (I think so) but I begged for prayers not knowing what to do that weekend. You and Laura prayed for me. Thank you!

The next day was our planned field trip into L.A. I was the only one who was delighted when we got stuck in L.A. traffic delaying our arrival back home. So, I didn't have to go to the cafeteria or have a night alone because it was closed. Instead one of my classmates and I walked down to Subway or Albertsons or somewhere and got a sandwich. It was either that night or the next morning we learned of a beach trip offered by the R.A. YES! I would love to go! So, she took us to Santa Monica. It was a lot of fun and took care of lunch time. We also went to Cold Stone for the first time. At the time we didn't have on the East coast so that was a fun experience. When I got back I noticed there was a new girl on the hall!! I had seen her go into her room. So, before supper, I walked down the hall and knocked on her door. She opened a bit surprised. I introduced myself explaining I know that we don't know each other but wanted to see if she wanted to go the cafeteria together. A look of relief washed over her face and she confessed she had just been praying for someone to go to the cafeteria with when she realized that was ridiculous because she had not left her room! If she didn't know anyone and she wouldn't leave her room it was unlikely she would have anyone to go with. But then I knocked on her door. (I love that God doesn't despise our weakness but is able to answer our prayers even when we ask for the improbable). Me: I have actually been eating with the maintenance men during the week (nothing against the maintenance men but wondering if she might think that was lame). To my surprise, her: (Smile) I've been eating with security. Both of us: Laughter and a walk down to the cafeteria.

I was even more surprised upon arriving to the cafeteria when a young man whom I didn't know came up to me and said very confidently, "well, hello, stranger." I didn't know who this was but I was so glad to have human contact I didn't even care if he was mistaken. I made a "I don't think I know you" face and he said, "You're from SC?" My face lit up and I answered, "Yes!! Charleston." He said, "I'm from Columbia." No way!! He just happened to know the whole school that was on campus for ths summer (it seemed) and they were all eating outside. He invited me to join them. I then invited my new friend. Not only did we enjoy a fun conversation as they were intrigued by the S.C. girl. We also met new friends to eat with for the rest of our meals! Sunday a man from class took another classmate and I to church and lunch. I enjoyed getting to know the guys better and enjoy laughter and good conversation during the rest of my stay. My favorite memories from that meal are one of the guys asking if rice is a staple. Me: pause, "yes". Another explaining what strawberry shortcake is while another guy rolled his eyes and said, "She's from the South, not Mars, of course she knows what strawberry shortcake is." I was amused. Many questions about the South. Fun times. Anyway, I was just thinking about how God not only provided for me but WAY more than I ever could have asked or imagined. I am reminded to trust Him like that. Trust Him for good things. He is ready to answer.

Tampa

Traveling to Tampa last weekend to visit Kendra was good for the soul. Really. I can't tell you how good it was to be with her, to be there, and to have fun. Unfortunately I hit terrible traffic through Orlando. What I didn't know is that Mapquest estimates your time based on the traffic at the time you search your destination... which was about 10:00 p.m. on a Thursday night. Traffic around 3 p.m. on a Friday added an extra two hours to my trip. I was not happy with Mapquest. I still arrived in time for supper though. Kendra wanted to take me to a nice French resteraunt in a little village near her house as a late birthday present. We dressed up. It was fun and good food. We split a salad, flatbread, and desert. They gave us bread/toast and we had a glass of really good wine. We stayed up late talking. Slept in (she was still on California time). The next morning we went running. Thank goodness it was overcast cause it was still hot, but doable. She lives in an historic area and there is a walkway on the water that reminds me of the battery. Snack. Shower. Drove to St. Petersburg where we ate lunch at a good Greek resteraunt. I had a yummy salad and they had buy one get one free Sangria. Walked a bit. H.O.T. Beach! Trip to Ikea which I loved. Picked up take out and watched 100 Foot Journey. To bed a little earlier. Visited a Presbyterian church the next morning which I really enjoyed. It was my first time. We had planned to go kayaking at a nearby preserve but poor Kendra started feeling sick. We picked up lunch from Publix and ate at her house. She lied down while I went on a walk. Then, she took me to a nearby tea room that has a fun atmosphere and shop. The drive back was much smoother. I kept thinking about Nicholas while I was there. I knew it was unlikely I would run into him, but look forward to asking him about where his Dad lives and seeing if I know where that it. Hope to visit again sometime in the fall maybe. Lots to do. Thankful for the chance to get away and for good friends.

Stayin' Alive

Tuesday I had my CPR recertification class for health care providers. It was a day class at UF in the old VA building on 8th Street. There were only several of us attending and our instructor was great. I started feeling feverish during the day but wanted to go ahead and get this all done with. We had a fun bunch. We watched the videos, practiced step by step, and then had to perform in completion- in front of everyone, I might add! I got a blister on my hand immediately after the first set of compressions. I was feeling like a wimp til I realized that is 100 compressions. That has never happened to me before so I am not sure what happened.

Not sure if you have done CPR training before? But, the reason for the subject is that the rate of compressions is at least 100 beats per minute which would follow along to the beat of the song, "Stayin Alive." See how fast that is? You don't want to sing, however, because you want to count. Think: Push hard and fast. One, two, three, four... thirty. You just use the palm of your hand(s) to push on the lower part of the breastbone about 2 inches (5cm). Two breaths watching the chest rise and then back to compressions until they start breathing on their own. It is a little different for children and infants. It is important to make sure the scene is safe first in case they are "down" due to something that could harm you. Call for help. Check pulse. Then... go! You may know all that.

If you watch them fall, quickly call for help first. If you come upon someone who is unresponse AND not breathing, start chest compressions. If they were choking and pass out, help them to the ground and begin chest compressions. Don't do a blind sweep in the mouth as this could lodge the object further down. If someone starts choking and is responsive, place your hands together above the belly button and well below the breastbone and give about 5 abdominal thrust in and upward. I have seen this work twice and heard it working other times. If it happens to you and no one is around you can use a chair.

Well, sorry if this has been boring. I didn't intend to give you a rehash of the class. It's just what came out as I started writing. And now I've got that song stuck in both of our heads! Stayin' Aliiii-iiii-i-iii-ve!

Pool Time!

So, I have decided I should "blog you" since we are both apart and I don't get to talk to you and letters are a bit much. Yesterday Katie and the boys came over in the morning to go swimming. It was so fun! It was good to be with children and having fun and spending time with Katie. The boys were so cute, each one wanting to show me what they can do. Toby (6) can swim by himself, go under water, and find the rings at the bottom of the pool. Gabriel (4) can swim with assistance without swimmies and for the first time touched the bottom when he was swimming with me. Tristan (2.5) is fearless jumping high in the air with his swimmies and having a great time. Well, he is fearless except when he saw the "man over there." He wanted his Mom when an older gentleman was swimming toward him simly because Tristan was in his line of swimming. There is only so much pool, afterall.

. At once point, Katie asked Toby what day God made the sun. The three of us had a short conversation about creation and concluded we think it was day three but I need to check. A few minutes later Tristan and I were swimming together. He looked at me and said, "God made the sun." I agreed wtih him saying... "and the stars, and you, and me!" Katie had noticed a girl with an ice pop so she asked me if they sold popcicles. I said I didn't know that they did but maybe. So, we walked up to the counter and Katie asked. The man said they don't sell them but they do give them away. He is new this year. He explained that a 5 year old girl came up to him one day and told him that she has been coming here for years and they always have popcicles so be sure not to run out. Ha! Who does that remind you of?

Toby got purple. Gabriel yellow. Tristan blue. We also enjoyed a snack of raisins and goldfish at one of the tables. Then, back for session two of swimming. It was so nice to just enjoy our time together and play and be in the water. It felt like summer. Such fun! I look forward to doing that again when they get back from vacation (hopefully I didn't exceed my guest limit).

Hope you are having fun and maybe you get to jump in a pool... a heated pool!

Holden

Tonight I went on a walk around the block while my banana bread was baking. It was GORGEOUS out. A perfect night. Cool breeze. Just lovely out. For some reason my thoughts went back to the year I spent in Charleston before moving here this round. I thought of Holden and how amazing he was. How perfect God's hand to put us together during that season. It was his first impressions of the world and relationships. I was in a season of rest and refreshment. The first time I met him he was three weeks old. He was lying on the bed and he took my breath away. He was so incredibly cute. I started out working nights so his mom could sleep. Then moved to days. I love the way he used to light up when he saw me. The way he would just look up at me when I talked to people. The way he would make that cute noise with his mouth open "haaaaahhhhhh." Laughing together. Walks downtown and especially to visit you and Mike at the market. I miss the way he would fall asleep on me as I wore him in the sling- his soft baby cheeks pressed against my chest sleeping peacefully on me. Taking pictures for his mama. Getting him dressed up for doctor appointments. Clipping his fingermails with my swiss army knife cause it was small and I had more control than with baby clippers (I would swaddle him first). Baths. Listening to African music and dancing. He was a short napper. First foods. First tummy time. First crawl. Watching tennis. His bear outfit. Making friends on our walks. Giving him bottles. Reading books. Fun outings like meeting Mom, Susie, Grace, and her parents at RBs in Mt Pleasant for lunch. Meeting Mom, Susie, Grace and Susan for tea at St. Philips. He was not a good shopper and especially hated J Crew. He loved the horses and dogs. He would look at me like I was drop dead gorgeous and then I would see myself in the mirror, ha. Oh. I loved him so much. That time was such a treasure. It's like God went out of his way to bless, refresh, and even heal me through little Holdie. Children are truly a gift from the Lord. God is so so good to us.

Daddies

Being a midwife has many special moments that are just an honor to be part of. When else do you watch a husband be so tender with his wife? So supportive. So loving. Encouraging and comforting. Enthralled with his new child... sometimes his firstborn. There are so many moments that are incredible. The other day one of our mothers was laboring in the tub. Her husband was sitting behind above the tub her so he could be near her. Many women want this. They want to know their husband is there, right there. He was. He was calmly sitting behind her. His foot was resting near her since he was above her. During a contraction she would just reach out and hold onto his ankle. Most likely they had talked this over since this was not their first child. She told him she wanted him near. He understood that is what she needed. He was there. He would lean down and whisper a word of encouragement every now and then or kiss or forehead. He softly sang to a worship song... singing life as this new life was being brought forth. So precious.

Sometimes they cry as the baby is born. Sometimes they pray for their wife during the labor especially when it gets really hard or a prayer of dedication or thanksgiving after the child is born. Sometimes they speak words of "help" and courage to their wives. Sometimes they are just there. In my opinion, that is just fine. Recently at another birth, the laboring mother realized her husband was tired. She was asking him to hold her leg with each contraction and he had been up all night and well into the day. He answered, "I'm not tired until you have the baby." He didn't leave her side. I had to encourage him to eat while she went to the bathroom. He chowed down on some nuts and apples the few minutes she was away.

There are so many more precious moments I am honored to witness. It's one of the perks to our work. Thankful.

IKEA ain't for Wimps

So, I have been to IKEA before. I love the place. I joke about how I get overstimulated. I know I'm not the only one. But, my recent trip reminded me the intensity of taking a trip to that store is no joke. It is SERIOUS! In hindsight, I commend myself for making a plan. I do recommend "shopping" online to make a selection of the items one plans to purchase. I also (and obviously) recommend lowering your seats prior to departure out of town especially if you are like me and it takes you about 10 minutes, getting into the trunk, reading the manual twice. I also recommend finding the selected furniture in person to verify that you do indeed like the way it looks and still want the original color (which I changed my mind a few times). The last helpful choice I made was to be open to something I had not come for. It is a long drive that I don't want to or plan to make in a while and they have really good deals. Things to keep in mind for next time. If at all possible take a buddy. This would not have worked for me anyway in my Corolla. I used the front seat for bedding. The back seats were taken for the boxes which fit perfectly- thank you, Lord! Another tip is do NOT place your cell phone on the furniture right in front of your face thinking you could not possibly forget about it. I will blame it on the overstimulation and multitude of decisions to make, but I did leave my cell phone unattended for about 20 minutes (aka I lost it). I notified a worker in another department and gave an exact location and to both of our surprise it was still sitting there. I highly recommend one of the odd looking buggies. The normal looking ones are only if you are not going to purchase heavy furniture. You will need a yellow bag to put any regular items, but you can't take this out of the store with you or you have to purchase a blue bag- not expensive and very large. Actually I recommend it unless you already have one. Finally, you are going to need to bring your car to the loading zone. Honestly, not sure if you are supposed to park before shopping or leave your cart with a loader (or better your buddy which I didn't have) and bring your car around. It would be good to have cash on you so you can tip the guy for helping you do something you couldn't do alone especially in the heat. Finally, you are about to hit a major traffic jam upon leaving the Mall of Millenia until you pass downtown. You happen to be around the theme park area, I think? So, be prepared and plan accordingly. Basically, I just used a bunch of mad skills heavily immersed in His mercies! Once I assembly and decorate I will let you know if the finished product was worth it.

Falling Apart

The other night laying on my bed I was wondering how Jesus was going to give me comfort for a new burden when I was already feeling overloaded. I was trying to take these things to Him. I just hadn't gotten to a place of rest in all of them, just some. I found myself lagging behind in giving my burdens to Him. One thing after the next. It got to the point that I realized I don’t think I can take much more. What if a tragedy were to occur? Or at this point even just a really bad day? I could just see myself falling apart. This won't be a new concept to you, but it was a new idea in that moment for me. He showed me that sometimes falling apart isn’t defeat. I was surprised and relieved. I just had to smile because only Jesus could pull that off, don’t you agree? Not only can He hold it all together despite our emotions and circumstances, but He can bring forth new life in us. He can fulfill a better future out of our chaos. It is one thing to know it. It is another to weakly submit our tensions and downright catastrophes into His loving and strong hands trusting that He will in fact carry us through even though our circumstances speak otherwise. His word supersedes our circumstances. His love is stronger than our fear. I still have to go through the tension and struggle through my uncertainties and weakness. But the good news is that I really can depend on His intervention on my behalf when I just can’t take it anymore. When I am so “done” that my tensions are just spilling out over the place. And there He is… HERE… in it... with me holding it all together like only He could... holding ME. And though I can’t see it, I have the blessing of knowing that the end result in fact will be complete and secure. And this, ma soeur, is very good news indeed.