The Word of the Lord

"Then Job replied:

Doubltess you are the people, and wisdom will die with you!
But I have a mind as well as you; I am not inferior to you.
Who does not know all these things? ...

To God belong wisdom and power;
counsel and understanding are His.
What He tears down cannot be rebuilt;
the man he imprisons cannot be released.
If He holds back the wters, there is drought;
if He lets them loose, they devestate the land.

To Him belong strength and victory;
both deceived and deceiver are His...

He reveals the deep things of darkenss
and brings deep shadows into the light.

My eyes have seen all this,
my ears have heard and understood it.
What you know, I also know;
I am not inferior to you.
But I desire to speak to the Almighty
and to argue my case with God.

You, however, smear me with lies;
you are worthless physicians, all of you!
If only you would be altogether silent!
For you, that would be wisdom...

Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him;
I will surely defend my ways to His face.
Indeed, this will turn out for my deliverance,
for no godly man would dare come before him!

Now that I have prepared my case,
I know I will be vindicated..."

and this is the word of the Lord. Amen.

Job 12: 1-3, 13-16, 22 and 13:1-5, 15-16, 18.

Class of 2010

So, I realized that closure is important in life. I should not leave my blog unfinished even though we are seeing each other on a weekly basis now. The last month in Gainesville was busy in a good way. Final presentations... NARM in Orlando (boy, were we nervous and braindead afterward)... visit home to Charleston wonderful...graduation... moving back home. Waiting...

It is good to be finished. I marvel at what God did in those three years. He is so faithful. Now, resting some to recover and be ready. Enjoying the family. Charleston. Praying for what is ahead. Excited about Perspectives this spring! Missing birth.

Last night at church: Out times are in His hands. We don't have to understand. My trust is in You.

Taking a Break...

Well, sort of. I'm writing my next entries in a blog for my time in the Philippines. Katie mentioned I write one and since there is so much to tell, I went ahead. I want to write about so much, but will try to write once a day. We'll see. Can't wait to hear about your travels as well. It is www.eachnewdayphilippines.blogspot.com. Check it out!

Christ in You the Hope of Glory

When you are forgotten, neglected, or purposely ignored and you don't sting or hurt with the oversight, but your heart is happy being counted worthy to suffer for Christ... that is dying to self.

When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice is disregarded, your opinions ridiculed and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient, loving silence... that is dying to self.

When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, irregularity, any annoyance; when you can stand face to face with waste, folly, extravagance, and spiritual insensibility and endure it as Jesus did... that is dying to self.

When your're content with any food and offering, any clothing, any climate, any solitude, any interruption by the will of God... that is dying to self.

When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation or record your own good works, or itch after commendation, when you can truly love to be unknown... that is dying to self.

When you can see your brother prosper and have his needs met, and can honestly rejoice with him in spirit and feel no envy, nor questions God while your own needs are far greater desperate circumstances.... that is dying to self.

When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself an can humbly submit, inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment raising up within your heart... that is dying to self.

Taken from Corrie ten Boom's writings

Filipino

So, there used to around 70 languages in the Philippines due to the influence of other coutries and islands nearby. Finally, American and Filipino were labeled the official language. So, I am trying to teach myself some words before I go. I definately hope to find more, but these are some I came across...

hello mabuhay (mah-boo-hay)
how are you? kumusta ka? (koo moos tah kah)
yes oo (oh-oo)
no hindi (hin dih)
please paki (pah kee)
thank you salamat (sa lah mat)

Good morning Magandang umaga
I don't know hindi ko alam

The Philippines

Sunday afternoon I walked down to the library to find some books on the Philippines. I left with a whole bag full. I will tell you a little of what I have learned so far.

The Philippines are what is called an archipegalo of 7,107 islands, 880 being inhabited. It is the world's longest broken coastline. It has gulfs, lakes, waterfalls, and volcanos. There are three regions: upper, central, and lower. I will fly into the capital, Manila, which is in the upper region. From there, I fly to the city I will be living. I will live in Davao City (pronounced Dah-baw) situated in the lowest region called Mindanano. Davao is in the third largest city in the Philippines.

There are two seasons in the Philippines- wet and dry. I happen to be there during wet season which is when the typhoons come. I am thinking that Charleston is good preperation for this, huh? Humidity and hurricanes, though I like the fact you can escape inland with hurricanes.

I am delighted that rice is the main food in the Philippines! And I am especially hopeful that the food takes after the name as Davao City is "little Japan!" As for Adobo that you mentioned I eat, it is a favorite among Filipinos. It is chicken and pork cooked with garlic and soy sauce. Sounds yummy, especially if it is with rice, which is likely.

I read more- history, politics, culture, lifestyle, religion, language. Nothing is like being in a place, but I figured this was a head start. Still not fully sure of what to expect, but getting excited!

Oh, Sissy

So, it has been a grueling week. I was tired before I got called in yesterday. But, what do you do, right? So, I was here and choosing to be glad. I told myself this is much more fun than playing games or watching a movie. We did what we do. Not as long of a night as it could have been. Then, I had to clean while the midwife made a trip to the hospital. I was to pick her up. Done with cleaning. Still waiting. Home. Went to sleep. Called in an hour to go pick up the midwife. Drove across town to the hospital. Picked her up. Dropped her off. Then, the icing on the cake. I dropped my stinkin phone in what I thought was an empty cup in the cup holder in my car. It starts making a strange noise and blinking. I realize it is wet and was relieved that it still appeared to be working. Then, as I get into the bed... it stops working. I do NOT want to get called in again and I do NOT want to be dealing with this.

So, back out of bed to drive to the birth center to call the midwife to let her know that I do not have a working phone and if we get a call to ring my doorbell and I will come. No calls. Wake up. I decide to go to church and then go to the Verizon store afterward. First, devotions. I was thinking I should read the one from yesterday again. It was one difficulties. No, I will read the one today. It said not to say, "we can't afford it" but to remember God as our provider. What a good message for my day.

Not sure if my phone will be salvaged or if I will get a new one. But, today at church Hannah let me borrow her phone while I am on call and trying to fix my broken one. The beginning of provision!

Some of the wise may stumble,
so that they may be refined,
purified and made spotless
until the time of the end,
for it will still come at the appointed time.

Daniel 11:35

Fourty Nine

So, did you notice the birth count to the right? I had my 49th management earlier this morning. One more to go! Hard to believe. So much hard work over the years. It is strange to be in the place of almost there. I am wondering how that birth will be. Easy? Long and hard?

This birth was a first time Mom. She was so tired and had not slept. She started saying she couldn't do it and didn't want to anymore. For hours she did this. She mentioned the hospital. We encouraged her. She found the strength. Beautiful baby boy born in the water this morning after a long night of laboring with us and a long day before of contractions. And he is the "spitting image" of his father:). And I am a sleepy midwife!

Pistachios and Ice Chips

Last week we transferred a couple to Shands because their baby was in a face presentation. This means the presenting part upon examination is the face instead of the vertex (head). It is very uncommon. Most babies are born via cesarean with this presentation. There are two types- mentum anterior or mentum posterior. Mentum anterior is good as the baby will flex his or her chin through the birth canal and be born this way. Mentum posterior will not fit through the pelvis and needs to turn or the baby will not be born this way, aka cesarean in the US. We transferred to see if they could continue to labor at the hospital or if she would be an immediate ceserean. I decided to go with them to the hospital for support. Good report-trial of labor!

We arrived around 10 am. They were so busy that we did not have our own room until 5o'clock in the evening. We had a bed surrounded by a curtain in the triage area. We labored in there the whole time except for a walk around the floor with a break on a very small "porch" leading to a stairwell outdoors- a 45 min break. At one point, I had to laugh as the husband offered his wife ice chips. She just was not able to keep anything else down, poor thing. He himself was eating pistachios to stay well nourished. So, he is eating pistachios. She is eating ice chips. I took a quick trip down to Chick-fil-a!

She had made progress when we arrived to the hospital upon assessment. By observation, it seemed to me that she was continuing to make good progress. When she was assessed next at 7 pm, no progress. We are told this could mean this baby is as far as he or she would fit. Just won't know yet. Contractions slow down a bit and we need them to finish labor. So, they give her pitocin. Now, she is not able to move around because they will continuously monitor the baby. We try changing positions as much as possible, but it is difficult. Staying in bed is so much harder for her to cope, so much more painful. She is a trooper though. She tenses because they are so strong and she needs to move around. Many interruuptions. An offer for pain medication. She looked at me, "can I do this?" I leave the choice to her. Not many women make it through Pitocin without pain medication, though I have labored with three now who have done it. I tell her to keep doing what she is doing. One step at a time. Let's see what happens after a bit.

Finally, progress. She is working so hard. Contractions are so strong. I hate that she is confined. She is doing this the hardest way possible except that she is surrounded by love. We help as much as possible- massage, silence, encouragement, words here and there. Finally, she is complete. It is time to push. She does not have to push too long. Baby is born at 12:46 am. It's a girl! Mom cries. She keep thanking everyone for helping. She thanks the doctor for believing in her. She thanks me for staying with her the whole time. We are all happy. It was a privilege to be a witness to a unique birth that not many will see.

C'est vrai

What lies before us
and what lies behind us
are tiny matters
compared to what lies within us.

~Raph Waldo Emerson

One Minute Later...

So, I decided that all this having no internet was totally worth the pure joy and excitement yesterday of getting to Skype on our birthday! It was sooo good to see you and talk and open presents together. Something funny happened after we talked that I wanted to tell you about. As you know I had a hard time hearing because I was outside- trucks, people, noises. I figured people could not hear us, maybe me, but not you. And as I told Muraiha, I did not even care if they heard me or thought I was strange I was just so happy to get to talk to you. But, I'll be if this man sitting across from me (10 feet?) didn't laugh when you said "may day" after spilling your water. I just smiled and continued my full attention toward you. I wasn't here for entertainment after all. I was talking to my twin sister on our 30th birthday who lives in Germany and I live in Florida and I was praying this would work and all. Well, after we got off I began to pack up my computer to head off to chart review. The man who had laughed starts a conversation...

Him: "You've got a built in webcam on there, huh?"
Me: "Yeah." Then to explain why I was Skyping in the middle of downtown I filled him in. "I have a twin sister and it's our birthday today and she lives in Germany."
Him: His mouth drops open... "No way! That's awesome! Well, happy birthday!!!"

Another man standing near.
Him: "Where in Germany?"
Me: "Kandern. It's in the Black Forest. I don't know too much of the geography over there, but that is where she is."
Him: With a slightly synical tone... "Oh, I do. I served my country for 37 months in Germany."
Me: "Wow, thank you for doing that."

The other man. "So, what are you now? 21...22?"
Me: With an amused smile- "No, older than that." I am packed up by now and gathering my things.
Him: "25?"
Me: I laughed. "Not telling:). Y'all have a good day."

Both men. They look surprised. "Thanks, you too and happy birthday!"

Goodness, don't people learn not to ask a lady how old she is these days? But, I am still beaming with joy to have gotten such a neat time with you on our birthday. Off to chart review and enjoy the rest of OUR birthday! And the dark chocolate you sent was AMAZING!

Lovely Days

My trip was a blessing. I mostly spent time with family, but got to see some others as well. Susie and I met at Nicholas's baseball practice Friday late afternoon and then we met Frederick at the Mexican resteraunt. Nicholas and I played some Mario at the house, then I went home.

I was so glad to be home, but I had such a strong sense of unrest. I was having a difficult time slowing down and passing on my burdens to the One who gives us peace. Here I was with so many things I wanted to do and people I wanted to see, not able to do it all on top of having been sick. All I wanted was some time to be quiet and rest. I had to laugh at my indecisiveness when Mom was leading a quiet day at her church. I decided to go and it was wonderful. The scripture from Isaiah- In repentance (returning) and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength. Just what I needed. Then, Susie and I rode out to Kiawah together for a beautiful long walk on the beach with Grace. Oh, spoiled rotten, I am! It was so good to be out there, to be together, and to enjoy such beauty. I can't wait to go again. And Grace was wearing the Camp St. Christopher shirt I gave her. Such a cutie.

The family was a treat. Steak and cupcakes- yum! I got a large cooking pot which I needed and some other nice gifts. St. Andrews was as powerful as ever- worship, teaching, prayer, fellowship. All wonderful. Andolini's with Mikayla. Nap. Back to Wadmalaw for supper with Frederick and family with a visit to Robert and Lindsay on the way. I wish I had gone to St. Michael's for the night service, but I didn't.

And to finish up my time, a wonderful long walk on the golf course. I got to talk out loud. It was good. Mom and I walked around the block before that, which was such a treat. It was good to see everyone. Good to be home. Glad to be back.

High Ropes

We get a lesson in healthy growing. It's about knowing our comfort zones and as we step out of it, it expands. Then, there is the area in our lives that is too far out of our comfort zone to attempt. It's got to be built upon for it to be safe. So, little by little we step out of our comfort zones until we realize it has grown fairly large.

Now, to the ropes! We walk into the woods. We partner up. We meet the team, learn the equipment, put it on, practice using our equipment on a ground course. We practice walking in it, falling, detaching and attaching the ropes, and walking on the tight rope. I already feel unfamiliar even on the ground... Off to the high ropes!

Sammy is my partner and she wants to go first. Up she goes! I cheer her on. Good job, Sammy... The first step is always the hardest... half way there... you're doing amazing... and she was. Everyone else is excited. I'm nervous. It is sooo high up. The girls all go. They do great. Now for my turn. Glad for all those deer stands I've climbed up into- good practice:). Up to the top. Feeling uncomfortable. I make it up. So high with such a small space. I tell the man "i'm so nervous." He tells me I can sit. No, thanks (doubtful I'd get back up). What do I do? I don't remember his answer, but I went forward. Once I made the first step I got the hang of it. Not so bad. He talked me through the first exchange at the pole. To the tight rope, to the log, the final tight rope, and almost done. But, the last step was a far stretch. I did not want to reach up to the hooks. After a minute of standing, looking at the pole with hesitation, the man slightly extended his hand and made a face that said, "want a hand?" I did not hesitate at all, but gladly took it and pulled myself onto the final platform. He adjusted my ropes for me, told me to wait as he worked on something. Then, he told me it was ready and that some people count to three. That is what I needed to hear. One, two, three... and off down the zipline!

Did I overcome my fear? Nope. I was as afraid as I was rockclimbing, getting stuck on the mountain in Montserrat, and getting near the edge when I go hiking. It was fun and I'm glad I did it. But, still a ways to go before that is in my comfort zone.

No Longer Strangers

Not too long ago I attended a birth for a mom I had never met before. This happens occasionally. In fact, some of my favorite births (where we bond the most) I have not met them before. Funny how life goes like that. This particular birth the mother was expecting a certain woman to be at her birth who was not able to be present. She did not know this woman would not be present. We assessed her and admitted her into labor. She was well into labor when she came in. I came in and out of the room quietly without using many words. A word here and there of encouragement. I explained that we were not telling her what to do because she was doing exactly what we would tell her to do. You are doing perfect and making good progress. She nodded. She was very tired and had not slept the night before. Out of the tub. I squatted with her for a contraction. She breathes slowly letting the contraction build, relaxing into it. She leaned her head on my shoulder. I fixed her hair because she was hot and her hair was falling down. She was getting more tired. Would you like us to break your water? Yes. One hour later a baby girl born in the water. Mom cried. We took care of baby and eventually got her out of the water and onto Dad. I looked at the mother with a smile in my eyes and told her congratulations. She looked at me her eyes smiling as well and thanked me. When the time came for them to go home, she came up to me and joked with a smile, "Nice to meet you, Ashley." We gave each other a big hug and I said, "you too. It was an honor."

Sunday Afternoon

What a beautiful day out even though it is a bit cold. I wanted to take advantage of this and go on a walk. Chrissy and I were planning on going out to one of the trails in the late afternoon. So, I decided against my walk down to the library to return some cds. Instead, I filled my almost empty tank with gas and then drove to the library to drop off the cds. As I walked back to my car, I could not resist a walk around the block while I called Frederick on the phone. It was just too pretty out. So, I walked around downtown talking on the phone to him. And what do you know that I came across except for a bicycle race! Yeah, even though I am not a bike race fan or anything, it was something different. There were LOTS of bikers around. There they came over and over mostly riding in groups. The roads were blocked off for the race and there was a big "START/FINISH" sign. Pretty cool. I watched a few rounds then walked back to my car.

When Chrissy got here, we picked a trail off 8th Avenue in the woods. It was great to catch up. Afterward, we decided upon Panera instead of checking out the superbowl party. We enjoyed some soup and salad (me) or sandwich (her). It was nummy. Now she is on the road back to Ocala and I am about to enjoy some good reading. A nice sunday afternoon.

Words of Strength

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, " The Lord is my portion, therefore I will wait for Him.

Lamentations 3:22-24

Things I Heard This Week...

Today at La Chua Trail:
"Hey, Amber, have you ever been shocked by an electric fence?"
"No, I haven't."
Without missing a beat and ready to tell her story, "You don't want to..."

At church this morning:
a child's voice saying "I'm too old for this" and chasing a two year old around the room

On the radio:
Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord. We will wait upon the Lord... You are the everlasting God. You will not faint. You won't grow weary

A Dad with big muscles and tattoos all over his body at a birth:Man, I am so glad I'm not a woman! (among various other very funny comments)

As We Wait

I lift up my eyes to You, to You whose throne is in heaven.
As the eyes of slaves look to the hand of their master,
as the eyes of a maid look to the hand of her mistress,
so our eyes look to the Lord our God, til He shows us His mercy.
Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us,
for we have endured much contempt.
we have endured much ridicule from the proud,
much contempt from the arrogant.
- Psalm 123

It is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young.
Lamentations 3:26-27

Keep yourselves in God's love as you wait for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you to eternal life.
- Jude 21

Ch-ch-ch-chilly!

At the beginning of the week I saw the weather report that it was going to be a cold week with highs in the 40s and lows in the 20s. Knowing it was my last few days before getting back to school, I wanted to enjoy the beauty of being outside even though it was cold. Except for today (slightly sleeting) it has been just gorgeous though. I did manage to make it out today just before the "rain" for a trip to the post office and library. It was liberating to get to walk down there even though it is "nasty" out. And would you know that I found an old hat to put on. Not too stylish, but warm. I enjoyed my walk very much.

But, I wanted to tell you about Kanapa. These are the gardens I took you to. I decided to make a trip out there on Monday. I bundled up except for hat. I walked through the gardens two times around. I thoroughly enjoyed the beauty of the gardens on a beautiful, cold day. I needed a chance to reflect and receive from God. And since almost no one else was interested in the gardens on a cold day, I was able to talk out loud some. I kept my voice low, just in case. I wanted to tell Him about my dreams, my thoughts, some disappointment, some questions. I find it easier to do outside in the open and beauty. I thought I heard someone a few times, but think it was just animals. Oh, Anne. It was so beautiful. I kept telling Him, "this is so beautiful..." thinking of submission ..."You are worthy"... and..."You are so beautiful." I thought about how some people confuse Him as being the creation. But, even though they don't know Him or worship Him, He is still the Creator. Nothing changes that. I listened to the trees in the wind and the few birds chirping. I remembered that these are the sounds of all creation praising Him. They know what to do! And they do it. That is why I was so happy to chime in too, genuinely praising Him that it was all so beautiful. To take time to enjoy it. To let Him know that I do. To remember Him.

There is a new boardwalk over a pond. I was thrilled to find this new spot. There was a beautiful egret that flew away as I walked down. Sorry, bird. I thoroughly enjoyed every minute of my walk in the garden thinking of how this was how God meant for life to be. I walked, talked, sighed in very satisfied to enjoy such beauty, sat down on the gazebo, laid down on the steps, and finally walked back to the car. It was very refreshing. Very good. I know it is not going to be warm where you are either. I hope you will be able to enjoy some beauty of the snow!