Daddies

Being a midwife has many special moments that are just an honor to be part of. When else do you watch a husband be so tender with his wife? So supportive. So loving. Encouraging and comforting. Enthralled with his new child... sometimes his firstborn. There are so many moments that are incredible. The other day one of our mothers was laboring in the tub. Her husband was sitting behind above the tub her so he could be near her. Many women want this. They want to know their husband is there, right there. He was. He was calmly sitting behind her. His foot was resting near her since he was above her. During a contraction she would just reach out and hold onto his ankle. Most likely they had talked this over since this was not their first child. She told him she wanted him near. He understood that is what she needed. He was there. He would lean down and whisper a word of encouragement every now and then or kiss or forehead. He softly sang to a worship song... singing life as this new life was being brought forth. So precious.

Sometimes they cry as the baby is born. Sometimes they pray for their wife during the labor especially when it gets really hard or a prayer of dedication or thanksgiving after the child is born. Sometimes they speak words of "help" and courage to their wives. Sometimes they are just there. In my opinion, that is just fine. Recently at another birth, the laboring mother realized her husband was tired. She was asking him to hold her leg with each contraction and he had been up all night and well into the day. He answered, "I'm not tired until you have the baby." He didn't leave her side. I had to encourage him to eat while she went to the bathroom. He chowed down on some nuts and apples the few minutes she was away.

There are so many more precious moments I am honored to witness. It's one of the perks to our work. Thankful.

IKEA ain't for Wimps

So, I have been to IKEA before. I love the place. I joke about how I get overstimulated. I know I'm not the only one. But, my recent trip reminded me the intensity of taking a trip to that store is no joke. It is SERIOUS! In hindsight, I commend myself for making a plan. I do recommend "shopping" online to make a selection of the items one plans to purchase. I also (and obviously) recommend lowering your seats prior to departure out of town especially if you are like me and it takes you about 10 minutes, getting into the trunk, reading the manual twice. I also recommend finding the selected furniture in person to verify that you do indeed like the way it looks and still want the original color (which I changed my mind a few times). The last helpful choice I made was to be open to something I had not come for. It is a long drive that I don't want to or plan to make in a while and they have really good deals. Things to keep in mind for next time. If at all possible take a buddy. This would not have worked for me anyway in my Corolla. I used the front seat for bedding. The back seats were taken for the boxes which fit perfectly- thank you, Lord! Another tip is do NOT place your cell phone on the furniture right in front of your face thinking you could not possibly forget about it. I will blame it on the overstimulation and multitude of decisions to make, but I did leave my cell phone unattended for about 20 minutes (aka I lost it). I notified a worker in another department and gave an exact location and to both of our surprise it was still sitting there. I highly recommend one of the odd looking buggies. The normal looking ones are only if you are not going to purchase heavy furniture. You will need a yellow bag to put any regular items, but you can't take this out of the store with you or you have to purchase a blue bag- not expensive and very large. Actually I recommend it unless you already have one. Finally, you are going to need to bring your car to the loading zone. Honestly, not sure if you are supposed to park before shopping or leave your cart with a loader (or better your buddy which I didn't have) and bring your car around. It would be good to have cash on you so you can tip the guy for helping you do something you couldn't do alone especially in the heat. Finally, you are about to hit a major traffic jam upon leaving the Mall of Millenia until you pass downtown. You happen to be around the theme park area, I think? So, be prepared and plan accordingly. Basically, I just used a bunch of mad skills heavily immersed in His mercies! Once I assembly and decorate I will let you know if the finished product was worth it.

Falling Apart

The other night laying on my bed I was wondering how Jesus was going to give me comfort for a new burden when I was already feeling overloaded. I was trying to take these things to Him. I just hadn't gotten to a place of rest in all of them, just some. I found myself lagging behind in giving my burdens to Him. One thing after the next. It got to the point that I realized I don’t think I can take much more. What if a tragedy were to occur? Or at this point even just a really bad day? I could just see myself falling apart. This won't be a new concept to you, but it was a new idea in that moment for me. He showed me that sometimes falling apart isn’t defeat. I was surprised and relieved. I just had to smile because only Jesus could pull that off, don’t you agree? Not only can He hold it all together despite our emotions and circumstances, but He can bring forth new life in us. He can fulfill a better future out of our chaos. It is one thing to know it. It is another to weakly submit our tensions and downright catastrophes into His loving and strong hands trusting that He will in fact carry us through even though our circumstances speak otherwise. His word supersedes our circumstances. His love is stronger than our fear. I still have to go through the tension and struggle through my uncertainties and weakness. But the good news is that I really can depend on His intervention on my behalf when I just can’t take it anymore. When I am so “done” that my tensions are just spilling out over the place. And there He is… HERE… in it... with me holding it all together like only He could... holding ME. And though I can’t see it, I have the blessing of knowing that the end result in fact will be complete and secure. And this, ma soeur, is very good news indeed.

A Day to Remember

So, this is a story you know. But it is one I don't want to forget and being that Valentines Day just passed I thought it would be a good time to write it down. It was Valentines Day 2001. But, first I have to tell about the day before Valentines. Dan Dan had been dying since the fall. He had been in the hospital then hospice and now back in the hospital. He had not spoken since October if I remember correctly, though I always knew in my heart that didn't mean he couldn't hear us. I lived downtown in the dorms and made it part of my routine to either walk down to the hospital for a visit or stop by on a run a few times a week. Mostly I went to bring some smiles to the family, but of course I would always speak to Dan Dan for a few minutes. I would tell him about my day or week. Then I would give him a kiss and tell him I loved him as was custom since we were little girls.

The week of Valentines this particular year was CRA-ZY. I had three big exams including anatomy in addition to other things. I had settled in my heart to trust it would all work out. Well, on my run to relieve stress I made my usual stop by the hospital. This time, however, when I got there all the family was gathered around his bed. By "all the family" I mean his wife and children: Gangee, Dad, Aunt Susan, Aunt Tissa, and Uncle Dougie. A priest and Dr. Hayes might have been there too. I don't remember. I was so surprised to walk in on this. I just stood there stunned. Someone explained what was happening and told it wasn't a good time to visit. They said he wasn't going to make it. I remember saying that I needed to say goodbye and that I loved him. I remember Gangee telling me, "darlin' it's no use. He can't hear you. You should just go." Out of complete shock, I listened to her and just left. I remember not knowing what to do. I tried running and just couldn't. I made my way back to the dorm. I couldn't believe it. My grandfather was dying and I was a few feet from him and I didn't even say goodbye. I was such a wreck. I tried going to FCA and just started crying so I left. I felt so confused as what to feel and what to do. At some point I had to just put it in His hands and trust He loves him more than me.

The next morning when I found out he was still with us, I couldn't believe it! I made sure to go down to the hospital and that I most certainly was going to talk to him no matter what anyone said or thought. I was beaming with joy that he was still alive. I think I spoke to the family for a few minutes. But, then, before I left I talked to Dan Dan for a few minutes. I think I told him a few things about my week. I can't remember if I had kissed him yet. I really wanted to hug him, but the bed was in the way. So, the best I could do was to put my face up to his and just rest my face on his. (You have to keep in mind that during the months of his dying he looked so sick that some of the other grandchildren -not you!- couldn't even visit him cause it was too hard for them so I doubt he was used to this). I can't remember if I told him I loved him yet. But, in a loud, clear voice he said slowly, "I... love... you." I coudln't believe it. No one could. Looks of surprise and disbelief were on everyone's faces. I still remember Aunt Tissa's eyes getting HUGE when she heard him. I just kept my face up to him and pressed against him and said, "Me too. I love you so much...I love you so much." He hadn't talked for months and would never talk again. Those were his last words. He lived another month. I imagine this will be one of the most special moments of my life. This is my favorite Valentines.