They used to call me Sherah

So, last night I went to Publix to pick up a few things for our potluck in Nutrition. While I was at the store I decided to pick up a gallon of milk and a gallon of water. As I was getting a hold of my three bags to leave, I realized that the milk and water in one hand was a little much. But what is there to do? Only two hands and three bags. The other bag was full. I did not use a cart for shopping, just the hand basket. Plus, the bag boy did not offer me help to my car. He probably thought "it's only three bags." I figured I am an adult. I have carried at least five bags in one hand before. I can do this. (this is all a matter of about a 2 second thought process) So, I grabbed my bags. That was all there was to do. Just three bags... I wish I could have seen my face. I did my best not to make an "aaaaahhh- this is way too heavy" face. I seriously had to hold myself back from deep breathing. The police officer on the way out said "have a good night." I was relieved to say "thank you" in a clear, unstrained voice- with a half smile even. I wanted to say, "please help me." It worked out- I didn't drop anything. The cherry on top is that when I got home I actually had more than a half gallon of milk in the fridge. And in case you want to know, a gallon of milk weighs more than a gallon of water.

Little Sweetie

So, I meant to tell you about a very precious little one I got to hold last week. It was so wonderful. He was born a week ago Friday. They came in on Sunday for a postpartum visit. I was in charge of checking his vital signs, while the midwife checked the mom. He began to cry when I started checking his temperature under his arm. So, I picked him up and held him. I slowly bounced him up and down to calm him and it worked. We were going to do his heel stick soon. I continued to hold him while I warmed a washcloth for his little foot. He became content in my arms. He went from letting me hold him to resting on me. He became so quiet and alert and just seemed so satisfied. I loved every moment of it. It reminded me of my times with the triplets. They are the last ones who rested on me with such a sense of trust and contentment to be held. It was a precious few moments. I was wishing I had a camera so I could take a picture of the little guy. But I don't, so I hope my description gives you a glimpse of how precious he is. He is a sweetheart.

We like to Laugh

My classmates, that is. Yes, so does our family and you and me. I just wanted to tell you about a couple of the laughs we have had the past week. Our Intrapartum teacher, also one of the midwives downstairs, loves her dogs. She talks about them often and we give her a hard time about that. Today in class our teacher was flying through the lecture. There was no way we could process the information much less get it down on paper. I had just scooted in from downstairs at a birth. So, I was extra frazzled. So, she was telling us to hurry so she could put up the next slide. So, I was like, "come on, somebody ask her a question" out loud for her and the class to hear. Then my classmate asked her, "so, how are you dogs?" It was funny. I think you had to be there now that I wrote this. You have a good imagination. You can imagine that it was funny, right? Okay, how about this one. Last week during Practicum class we were learning about deep tendon reflexes. Our teacher was showing us where to find the refelxes. So, during our ten minute break a few of us went into the library. I was standing next to Kristen and she asked if I wanted to practice the reflexes. Sure! So, I did the one we already know- you know the knee where your leg pops up. Then I tried the "new" ones on the arm. The one on the tricep was not working out for me. So, on my third try I put a little force into it partly out of effort and I think partly out of frustration. Next thing I know I am karote chopping Kristen! It was pretty hard too. She looked surprised then we started laughing so hard. I was apologizing through laughter. She said I did not leave a mark so that is good. Probably had to be there for that one too. So, we have fun and we like to laugh!

One Year Ago Today

I realized this morning that one year ago today is the day that I moved to Gainesville. I remember reading in Corrie ten Boom the first Monday morning. She always makes me feel so much better. The reading I read that morning was a story about a time when she did not particularly want to do the thing that was put before her. She had just spent a year in Uganda on furlough, doctor's orders. She enjoyed so much sleeping in the same bed every night and the comfort of familiarity in that place. When she and her assistant prayed for God's guidance for the upcoming year He directed them clearly to Africa. She was getting older. She was tired. I imagine she felt she had done her time- I would if I were her. She tells how she was not excited about these plans for Africa. She was excited about her plans that she was making to stay in Uganda. But the Lord used a Rwandan pastor to help her to see that she was losing her first love and that indeed He was directing her to Africa. The pastor had no idea he was being used in this way. He was simply answering a question Corrie had asked to divert the conversation away from their request for her visit. She then remembered her first love and returned to follow Him and not herself and continued to minister to millions of more around the world. That is why my desk has a note with "Yes, Lord." I needed to remind myself so that I do not forget it is about Him and not me. I was empowered to be here after reading her story ... for about an hour... or maybe 20 minutes. I do not remember. I just remember sobbing almost the entire day. I am not talking about tears streaming down my face, but true heartbroken tears sobbing and sobbing. My heart was comforted that He had brought me here and would bless me. But I was weak and this was not what I would have chosen given that I did not believe in following His leading. I finally went out for a walk. It was my first walk around the duck pond that I enjoy so much. I have already told you about the beautiful rainbow that I saw that day and the assurance God gave my heart. It was the boldest rainbow I have ever seen and definately the one I have received the most from. He daily assured my heart my first few months here. I needed him to. Whenever I would get sad I just used to pray for ministry. I did not know how or when or what, but it satisfied me to pray that. I miss that. I remember clearly His assurance to my spirit that He will bless me and that this is the right way. It has been a shaky year. I have complained a lot, learned a LOT, been on lots of walks:), and waited a lot. But yesterday, not even realizing it had been a year, I smiled in my car driving down University Blvd thanking God for bringing me here to Gainesville even though I did not have the strength in myself to come. He knows the plans He has for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans of hope and for a future. One step... Then another... Then He will show the next as I walk. One step at a time until finally HOME.

The Newborn Exam

I got to do the newborn exam on a precious Muslim baby the other morning. He was so sweet. I was interacting with him and being very gentle since these moments after birth are his first impressions of life in this world. The Dad noticed the way I treated his son. He commented that I was good with him. I had not even realized. I was just respecting this little guy since he is unable to communicate with me in the way I get to communicate with others. Being the proud father of his firstborn son, he asked me if this makes up for the long nights. I would imagine a proud father would think what a priviledge it is for me to spend some intimite time with his precious newborn. Being the literal person I am I almost said "not really." I do better with such questions AFTER I have gotten some sleep. I am happy to say that I did say yes. Now that I am not in the afterbirth environement with many responsiblities to finish, it is a definite yes. It was wonderful to take my time and just enjoy this precious boy who will one day be a man. It was wonderful to bless him as I examined him and tell him that he is perfect. What a gift to be able to touch, to comfort, to encourage these little precious ones the first hours they enter into life outside of their safe haven of Mom. With each part that I examine I want them to know that they are gonna do just fine and it will be okay. Welcome to the world you have been living in but not yet seen. You are fearfully and wonderfully made and created with purpose. What a priviledge.