Perfect Provisions

God provided so abundantly for me during my trip to California. Many times I didn't even know I had a need when He provided, or the extent of my need. Sometimes it was just plain comical to me. I will do my best to recall the MANY provisions...

1. My cold (or allergies) got better instead of worse on the plane and through the airports.

2. I got a flight even though she said there were no more.

3. I got another flight once I got to DFT even though many people got bumped. Not sure how that works.

4. The lady next to me on my first flight lived in the Dallas area, so she gave me a description of how to maneuver the airport with it's train system and many gates. Not sure if I would have made it, or might have missed supper.

5. I didn't have to drive in rush hour traffic afterall since it was so late. To be honest, it's a wonder I didn't wreck with that car talking to me and driving in 6 lanes wanting to look around.

6. John got off early on Wednesday so we got to go to the baseball game. That was so much fun.

7. We found a parking spot near the Chinese whatever you call it Theatre and parking across the street was $10.

8. Bathroom at Starbucks:)

9. Mercy from the man at the gas station in San Diego who told me they don't have a bathroom but let me use their's when I asked a second time explaining that I didn't know where I was.

10. Finding the historic district simply by just driving to it. Then, I realized I didn't have any more change on me (drawbacks of not having a purse on hand or your own car) when I was paying the meter. I put in all my silver which amounted to 22 minutes instead of the 2 hours I was hoping for. Mmm. I was wondering what to do when a man pulled up behind me in his car. I asked, "scuse, me, do you happen to have change?" He joked if I wanted change for a $20? I asked for $1. When he whipped out a whole roll of quarters I changed my request to $2. His boss has sent him with the roll of quarters since he was going to San Diego. Impeccable timing!

11. I had literally just enough money to pay for toll roads. Actually, I was either a dollar or quarter short and she let me go through. I didn't feel bad the previous toll had eaten one of my dollars.

12. So, I forgot to eat supper that night and didn't realize until John and I were going to get beer (me a Corona, him whatever he got). Two provisions there- he drove cause I thought we were walking (ended up driving 15 min away so we were actually in Corona and not Eastvale) AND they brought us focaccia bread, which I am sure really helped me with the beer even though I still "felt it" drinking only half on an empty stomach. Oh, and beer happened to be half off (which is good cause I forgot how expensive it can be).

13. John gave me his camera so I could pictures at the wedding. I am so glad for those pictures.

14. A few hours to myself at Long Beach was a good transition. It was perfect to stay with Dianne as she helped me with my dress. I needed help:).

15. Good thing I left early for the wedding because traffic was so bad I would have been late. This brings me to another provision. I really didn't encounter traffic except for this day. That is amazing considering I was aimlessly wondering over Southern California at all times of the day/night.

16. God provided fellowship at the wedding through the pastor who gave the homily (his wife is a midwife) and Sean, Ashley, Liz, and those at the Jax table.

17. Got me to the car rental place even though my GPS did not.

There may have been more... beauty, radio stations, blessings. It really was wonderful. Wish it could have been longer.

Following the Sun

So, I've been meaning to write about my trip to California and just haven't gotten to it yet. I would have loved to have had a post for each day, but that's not gonna happen. In summary, it was exhausting, a lot of fun, wonderful, and of course, beautiful. I'm so glad that I went. You already know how crazy my travels were. Well, actually, I don't know that anyone really does know, but IT WAS CRAZY. Four hours waiting in Jax HOPING I would even get the flight, 1.5 h in the runway waiting to take off, two flights rescheduled, got cut in line waiting to pick up my boarding pass in DTW while my flight was boarding while a well to-do German flying 1st class made sure he would get a seat that reclined in his flight TWO HOURS LATER, unable to reach Payless (car rental) to inform them of my delay, unable to reach Payless once I actually arrived in Santa Ana, waiting over 40 minutes for the free shuttle to take me to the car rental place, finding out the car is in fact the only one I didn't want b/c it has a large blind spot and even worse... NO CD player!!- miss cheapskate seriously considered a different car and had to talk herself into just driving away, and about half way to John's house my CAR STARTED TALKING TO ME...NONSTOP. Did I mention I was driving in 6 lane traffic? I was. I counted... out loud:). My GPS who usually drives me crazy talking too much and too loud wasn't talking to me but my car was. I am thinking about my GPS- I hope you are working. People ask me what my car was saying. I can't remember. She was asking me what I wanted her to do and giving many suggestions on how to tell her a command. "Be quiet", "shut up", "off", and "please stop talking... that's all I want you to do is please stop talking" did not work, by the way. I was STRESSED. It made me realize how fortunate I am to be able to maintain my calm in stressful situations at work and birth because I felt like I was gonna lose it. Boy, was I ever so glad to get to John's house. It was SOOO good to see him and his family is really nice. My favorites there were the open window in my room, the sounds of a cow mooing through the open window- LOVED it!, and their dog, Daisy- she is one of two dogs I can't help but give a hug too. Can you guess who the other one is?

I figured I would just sleep in til noon since not only were my travels exhausting, but the entire two months before with very little sleep. Birth after birth after birth. Plus, I am used to sleeping at odd hours due to my work. Nope. It took me a while to fall asleep after the busy day and then I woke up at 4:30 and NEVER went back to sleep. This makes me realize how much grace God gives me to sleep at all sorts of hours most of the time. I went running and swimming in the morning and made my first outing on my own to Trader Joe's:). Then, we went to an Angels baseball game in the afternoon. Thai food and visiting the Chinese theatre where all the stars put their hand and footprints. Some of the stars... John Wayne, John Travolta, Bing Crosby!, Marilyn Monroe, Sean Connery, Cher, Matt Damon, many, many more. SO cool. So fun. Next day trip to San Diego and Laguna on the way home. Got a Corona in Corona. Long Beach Friday- so good to see Diane. The Queen Mary was a real treat. Fish tacos at a little hole in the wall near her house. Watched The Mask with she and her husband who I really like, by the way.

Dressed up for the wedding and ready to head out to Santa Barbara. I was planning to stop for an In and Out burger on the way. But, traffic was too bad. Believe it or not, this was the only real traffic I experienced. I had wanted to take the coastal highway down but decided against it. Not sure if that would have been better, probably not. Good thing I packed a protein bar cause that is all there was to eat. Too bad I forgot to refill my water bottle. I was SO thirsty. Finally, made it there 40 min before wedding instead of a couple of hours to explore. Oh, Santa Baraba is as beautiful as everyone says, by the way. I stopped to get gas (really to go to the bathroom), but once again they didn't HAVE a bathroom. Seriously? So, I would just wait. I also needed water. So, I went to the fanciest pharmacy I've stepped foot into. I was glad to be all dressed up because I felt like one needed to be wearing a floor length dress and high heels to be in any store around there. Nailed the water. The wedding was BEAUTIFUL. It was really special to be there, an honor really. The worship was wonderful, it was good to eat!, good fellowship, many laughs (her family gave many toasts and are hilarious), and simply a joy to experience the fruit of God's fulfillment in both of their lives. Worth it:). Even the drive back was lovely.

Skipped out on Greg Laurie or any church (I knew as I drove to Long Beach that was not a good idea). My trusty GPS could not find the address for the car rental place even though it is a main street off a major hwy (Hwy 55 in case you want to know). Everyone at home was in church. It was a little early in CA. I tried a couple of people to no avail. I just set my GPS for Coasta Mesa and started driving. I pulled over a couple of times to pray and investigate options. Mmm- I knew God could get me there but I had no sense of direction. Finally, got a hold of Ashley F who mapquested it for me. That helped. I wasn't far. Rest of my travels- SUPER smooth!! And, the Lord provided my first non-crazy week back which was JUST wheat I needed to recooperate. More to follow with some pics!

Going to the Chapel

Church rocked!! (As usual). So, after almost a year of meeting in the Methodist church's chapel (at 8:30 a.m!!) and then temporarily meeting at Calvary's old building, we are back in the chapel! I am so sad to have missed last's week first Sunday back. I heard it was amazing and the Holy Spirit so present. But, today was my first day back and it is so good to be there. The fun part about praying with the intercessors is getting to see the fruit of many, many prayers over many weeks. It makes ordinary things glorious and it is a pure joy! We had been given rocks before the move to represent God's movement and provision. We were to save them and bring them last Sunday. Well, not being around, I still have mine- which I only recently found. As I walked up to communion I wondered if I should bring mine in still even though it is too late. Then, I thought probably not. I could always keep it as a souvenir. I kind of wanted to keep it. Then, He reminded me how when we let go of things dear to us that it is in order to gain more of His life and He gives so abundantly. He took my fear from needing to hang onto this wonderful, amazing little church (I am talking of the people, not the building though it is adorable) that I love so much.

...All I want to do is lost myself in You. Lean back in Your arms and just let go. Let it be to me according to Your Word. Your ways are higher than mine... I want to know You. I want to hear Your voice. I want to know you more. I want to touch You. I want to see Your face. I want to know You more...

Mr. Robbie gave me a hug on his way back from communion. Thea squeezed my arm. After church little Harrison (2) stopped playing with his friends and ran across the yard to give me a bear hug and say hi and then went back to playing. So excited about the Beth Moore study to begin tomorrow. That also is a joy as it has been in our hearts for two years now to be in a bible study. After church I was talking to Thea who very well may be moving soon. I shared with her the story about the rock and letting go and we both got chills and hugged. I told her how it is really a blessing to love where you are so much that you don't want to leave when God calls you to the next place. I told her that is the story of my life and I am blessed by getting to know and love so many who are dear to me. Then, I told her how neat I think it is how every place I have been God has always provided a single, female friend who is my age though whatever age I am always seems unusual. Few more conversations. Then, David walked me over to show me the new office building, which is a mobile building. Little Chess showed me the monkey in the yard (stuffed animal) that you can see out of David's window. We are hoping to get electricity this week and be able to unpack so we can use it! I can't wait for you to visit and go to a service with me in the chapel. I love my church so much. I am so filled with joy by all that God is doing (they are such small and simple things that are so wonderful because they are His). Incredibly blessed!

The Voice of the Lord

My mind kept returning to the Voice of the Lord as I readied myself for my recent travels to California. He was reminding me how his voice is powerful and when He speaks things happen. He also ministered to my heart through his words in Hebrews about when we hear his voice not to harden our hearts. He says that three times in one or two chapters. I pondered these words throughout the week thoroughly enjoying the truth and comfort of these words. My prayers... May it be as You have spoken...

But, the reason for this blog post is to tell the story of Grace's birth. I know I told you recently, but it is one of many I should write down. So, in honor of Grace for her fourth birthday, here goes. First, I have to tell about my excitement when Frederick called to tell me they were having a baby. I was in my duplex living room in Gainesville during my second year of midwifery school. I think I said, "oh my gosh" 15 times. I just couldn't stop saying that and how happy I was for them. I was overjoyed. We didn't know if the baby was a boy or girl. Susie was a scheduled cesarean for the end of June. I was planning to be home the week of the proposed birth (if I remember correctly or at least the next week). But, the Lord had his own plans. It was the only night in all of midwifery school once being on call (after my two in a row missed calls incidence) that I had ever turned my phone on silent. We had our first pharmacology exam the next day and I wasn't as prepared as I would have liked to have been. I wanted a good night's sleep.

So, when I woke up at 7 a.m. I was surprised to see a missed call. It was Mom and she was calling to tell me that Susie's water had broken. I was sleepy and hadn't done the math but I got really nervous because even though I didn't know how many weeks she was, I knew she was early. And, I knew the risks involved. I immediately was concerned. My bible was sitting next to my bed so I picked it up. I opened immediately to Psalm 29 and there I read how the voice of the Lord makes the deer give birth. Immediately His peace came over me and I knew that He was the one responsible for this. It was no mistake. I felt safe on behalf of my precious family. I wasn't sure what I should do. I decided to get ready to go to school- took a shower, ate a healthy breakfast, got dressed. I had been praying here and there. As I blow dried my hair I started singing out loud "You are my hiding place. You always fill my heart with songs of deliverance whenever I am afraid. I will trust in You. I will trust in You. Let the weak say I am strong in the strength of the Lord. I will trust in You." I was singing as a prayer on behalf of Susie and this child, a song of protection over them. As I sang out loud, I got chills all over my body, even on my face. I finished the song and blow drying my hair and walked to school.

We got to school and everyone in the class had some sort of crisis going on. So, Kristin and I prayed together as we often did. We would just join hands and pray out loud in front of whoever was around, which happened to be our pharmacology teacher... who happened to have forgotten that we had an exam that day. Talk about provision! She NEVER did that. She was a tough cookie. We couldn't believe it. Our teacher joked with us to watch what we prayed for. We assured her we only prayed for provision, nothing against her:). So, I went to the other room to call either Mom or Frederick to tell them they could call whenever they wanted since I had asked them to please wait until after my exam. (I knew I would be a wreck if I got bad news). When I called, they said it was a girl and her name was Grace Elaine Schaffer. Both she and Susie were doing okay. I was SO happy. It was crazy to hear her name for the first time and know she was a girl. It was even crazier seeing her sweet picture and how much she looked like us. I love His hand in that story and knowing His presence in her birth. This is my favorite part of birth- His hand in His creation, in His provision. His timing. His ways. His GLORY. The Voice of the Lord spoke this earth into being. He speaks the hour of birth. He speaks the ordering of our lives into being. The Voice of the Lord is powerful. The voice of the Lord is majestic!

On Second Thought

So, last Sunday at church I decided to go for prayer. To be honest, I really didn't want to. I am all for prayer. But, I had gone the week before and that is just how I was feeling. It seemed good to go though. So, I did. As I approached the kind, older couple I stated a vague request that could indicate a lot of things. I figured I would keep it simple. The problem was they are hard of hearing. So, they both looked at me and with a LOUD voice, asked, "what's that?" Immediately I knew this was NOT a good idea. I was feeling majorly threatened. Now, my prayer request wasn't super personal. It wasn't anything to be secretive about. But, boy did I feel on edge knowing that the whole church was about to get in on my prayer request. My eyes were pretty wide when I realized how LOUD they were talking and my body went tense. Everything inside me was saying, "NOOOOO!!!" It was all I could do to keep myself from saying, "PLEASE be QUIET" and "Would you please mind whispering?" Another part of me thought it was funny and I was smiling- only out of consent to be a good sport. I was majorly uncomfortable. I tried to give them a look that said, "if I raise my voice everyone can probably hear us." They didn't catch on. I endured the session, making a mental note to never go back for prayer if they are on duty. I did my best to endure and receive. What else was there to do? I was never so relieved to be finished getting prayer. And, I made my way back to my seat. I know I don't need to give you any instruction on prayer ministry. But, feel free to bring this example up at any trainings should you feel so inclined. I would be glad for others to be spared:)

Moments Like These

The past couple of days I have purely enjoyed those simple moments and encounters that make life good. Yesterday morning it was enjoying friendships at church. I really enjoyed "passing the peace" and greeting new people and hugging those I know. We genuinely are happy to see and know each other. I am grateful for the love we have for each other. We had a covered dish afterward. Derek asked Thea and I if we brought anything. Neither of them did, so my edemame salad become "our" edemame salad. We enjoyed some good laughs at lunch. The 2 year olds are starting to talk. It makes me feel special to be known even by the 2 year olds saying "Hi Ashley!" as they walk by. They know my name and are happy to see me. How sweet! Today in clinic there were those moments too. Despite my headache and being a bit distracted, there were precious or pleasant encounters. One couple came in for their first appointment this morning. It is their fourth pregnancy, but their last was twins who died after being born in the 2nd trimeter (too early). The father is a big and strong man. I had to ask questions that were difficult for them to think about it. He just sat there with tears falling down his face. The mother was teary too. I wanted to comfort him, but it wasn't my place. It was hers. And, she did. I really liked them. I pray this pregnancy is term and healthy. Another couple told me how his side of the family always goes into labor the day after they eat shrimp. I told them to just pick a day that suited and have shrimp the day before. Another woman came in with her four other children. The oldest boy (11?)was very friendly to me, asking questions. Usually, it is the adults who ask questions or a child trying to get attention. He was genuinely looking for info- super cute. An couple came in this afternoon who have not been pregnant in a long time. At their consult a few weeks ago they were nervous about an out of hospital option. I agreed it is not for everyone and told them if they have lived here for a while that they probably know at least someone who has delivered with us. I was glad they were back. At the end of the visit, I was able to find heart tones and she started crying (they often do) and looked up at her husband and said, "it's really real. There is really a baby in there!" Another mother and her mother came in whose baby I delivered two weeks ago at home. The mother had been very skeptical about homebirths and was worried when she saw the O2 tank. I gave her reassurance at the birth and she watched all go well. She was saying how happy she was with us, what a good job we did, and what an amazing experience it was. I commended her daughter in front of her and agreed that the wonder of birth is an amazing event to experience particularly when it is left to fulfill itself. I could go on, but those are a few of the moments and I was happy to enjoy them.

TGIM

Yeah, I'm one of the only people who was counting down the hours for Monday at 7 a.m. Boy, am I glad for our new schedule so that I could catch up on some much needed sleep this morning. So, it all started last Thursday. I was supposed to work a half day in the office which I was grateful for since I was anticipating a busy weekend. I was looking forward to getting a few things done and resting. I woke up dreaming that I had only gotten an hour of sleep and I actually felt like I did, so I was tired. I almost fell asleep sitting on the edge of my bed. I was praying for the day, acknowledging that He was in control and consenting to what He chose to give me for the day even if it was different than what I was expecting. I was still praying when my phone rang. It was my boss who was on call. She had locked herself out of her car and couldn't get to the other side of town to assess our pt whose water had broken the day before. We needed to determine if she would continue to labor at home or transfer to the hospital. So, we traded. She stayed at the office to see pts. I drove to the other side of town. Long story short, I admitted the pt into labor and gave her the option to remain at home or transfer. She was very tired. We stayed home for a bit- walked around the neighborhood on the dreary day out. We made the decision to transfer a little before noon and headed to Shands. I was planning to stay until she was assessed and then leave since she had a doula and was okay with the plan. Not to mention, Cindy, our CNM would be joining later for the delivery. She ended up making a lot of progress so I decided to stay. I stayed for the remainer of the day and we finally had a baby at 11:59 p.m. I had wanted to be at their birth and was glad to be there. It was around 2 a.m. when I got home and by this time I was feeling nauseas. I went to bed and was woken by the pager around 7:45... twice. One pt thought her water broke. The other was contracting. I met the first mom in the office hoping I would not throw up in our appointment. She was not ruptured fortunately so I sent them home. Sharon went to the other mother's house to give antibiotics while I saw patients. I finished the morning in clinic fighting back the urge to vomit the whole morning. Got home to hopefully rest for a couple of hours before attending the home birth. I felt really bad. Got into bed. Pager goes off. Out of bed. Spoke with pt, charted, back to bed. This was rough. I decided not to give in to self-pity. Even if the pager went off the whole weekend and even if I did throw up I would not give in. I trust You. I get in bed. I receive a call that it is time to head over to the pt's home. Thank you for your prayers. I arrive and make sure everything is set up. I feel slightly better. Labor, encourage, birth, suture, postpartum care and newborn exam, leave their house around 8 p.m. I had only eaten 2 saltines and perrier so I had some more at home plus some Vitamin water. I was encouraged how much strength I had to help this woman when I had felt so terrible myself. Once I was out of the birth scene I was still not feeling well, but had been too distracted to notice. Internet didn't work so I couldn't chart. Bummer. Sat in the quiet house completely content to be His and to trust Him for all things. Wide awake instead of to bed. Slept in Saturday morning. Gorgeous day. I charted from the birth, went out to one of my favorite trails for a walk, and made a stop to the grocery store. In the meantime, I got a call from a first time mom who might be in labor. I was fixing supper when I got called again. Ate. Met pt at BC to evaluate. Sent her home. Home. She called again- I answered her questions. Charted, bath to wind down, short massage with Joanna, then to bed. Still not feeling great, but food was being tolerated so far. In bed a couple of minutes and pager goes off. It was a couple who has a history of short labors who live 45 minutes away. I told the husband to come on over and I would be ready for them. It was a little before midnight. She gave birth at 0240. Got home around 6:15 a.m. Ate. Shower. Into bed. Sleep 30 minutes and pager off again. NO!! It was the same couple I had already talked to three times this weekend. Back to office to assess and had to repeat the same instructions I had given the night before. No, it is not time. This is what you are looking for... Home. Into bed. Pager goes off. It was a first time mom and her water was broken. I called Cindy who graciously accepted my request to take the phones for a few hours so I could sleep. I transferred the calls to her and slept for about 4 hours. I texted her to check in. While I was sleeping our first time mom had come in for assessment and delivered!! I was happy for her and relieved that one was out of the way. In the meantime, another mom had called who thought her water was broken. Came in to be assessed and no rupture. I got up, ate a snack, and headed to previous pt's home for postpartum visit. I had just arrived when the same couple who really wanted to be in labor called again. I told her I would call back. Midwife from BC called and needed me to bring some fluids- they had a situation. I finish assessment and head to BC. I help with the situation and assess my other pt. She in fact is in labor. I tell them I need to run home to get a few things and eat and will be back within the hour. Home, grab clothes, pick up Panera for Cindy and I. Back, Eat. Work hard to help other mother ready to go home. Fix room for new pt. Charting is up to date. I assess her again and her water breaks while I assess her. I lie down to rest for a couple of hours, leaving my assisstant specific instructions including schedule of vital signs and to wake me for anything. Down 20 minutes and decide to get up wondering if she really is as close as she sounds. I listen. I finish off my Trader Joe's dark chocolate bar and drink some water. When I assess her she is in fact ready. Thank you, LORD!! Delivery @ 2314. Somewhat eventful postpartum including her passing out in the shower. Leave BC around 3 or 3:30 a.m. somewhat fearful of going home that once I lay my head down that darn pager will go off. I would rather just stay up almost. I was happy when I woke up at 8 a.m. and no more calls. I was surprised I didn't fall back asleep. About 30 minutes later I fell asleep and slept til 1 p.m. There were times when I LOVED and HATED my job in the same day over the weekend. We actually had a handful of complications involved which resolved well with proper treatment. He provided strength when I needed that and then Cindy when I didn't have the strength. Overall, I enjoyed it. Two mothers I have delivered over the past couple of years were actually attending two of the births and it was special to spend time with them during birth. Lots of sweet babies. Different personalities. I am glad for a few days off!

Home Improvement

Enjoy the making of your present! It took me a couple of tries to get started, but with help I got going and it was fun. I made my first trip to Lowe's by myself and left overstimulated without the supplies I was planning to purchase. This was going to be harder than I thought. Joanna was kind enough to come with me the next day after Sean and Ashley's "gender reveal" party on St. Patty's day. By the way, she was the genius behind the work. I couldn't have done it without her supervision and guidance. 1. Choosing hooks. Gorilla hooks. Check. Hooks to hold pots. Check. Wallhanging hooks. Check. 2. Choose a peice of 2x2 wood. 3. Nice man in Lowe's sawed the wood in half and then took off a few extra inches on both sides (per request) 4. Choose a stain color. This is harder than you might think especially without a picture of our kitchen. My imagination was beginning to confuse me. What color are the cabinets? What color is the kitchen table? What color is the countertop? What if I ruin the whole project by choosing the wrong stain? 5. Make purchase and go home to get to work! 6. Hold up the two cut peices of 2x2 to imagine if they will work at home. Too large:(. 7. Go back to Lowe's to have the nice man at Lowe's take another foot off each end. (see story below) 8. Back home (gorgeous day, by the way!). Collect materials: old carpet, old rags x2, drill, hooks, stain, wood. 9. Measure and drill holes for various hooks. 10. Sand the wood until it is smooth. 11. First layer of stain. Wait 10 minutes. Wipe away imperfections. Watch Pollyanna with Joanna and eat a yummy supper. Sleep. 12. Repeat step 11 minus Pollyanna, yummy supper, and sleep x3 4-6 h apart. 13. Screw in various hooks. This can be painful by the last screw. The finished product is worth it. 14. Pack up the car the next day and head to Charleston! Story: When I arrived a second time with my two pieces of wood, the man told me I need a saw. He told me he was giving his daughter who was about to graduate from high school a saw and a tool kit before she went to college. I told him that is a good idea and that my dad had given me a tool kit when I moved out. I commented that it was helpful even if I couldn't do something, I had the right tools available for the person who chose to help me. He then told me that I COULD do it. He said that men can't do a lot of things that women can do, but that women can do just about anything a man can do. I laughed and agreed that I probably can do some of those things but it would just take me a long time. Fortunately, he understood what I was saying. Notice I am wearing the St Patty's necklace you gave me:)