Driving Along in My Automobile

Today was cold out, but nice and sunny. I was happy to get to play some tennis. On my way to the courts I was listening to the radio. The dj was interviewing a singer, Brandon Heath. During the interview he gave choice A or B to the following question. During your last visit to Florida you either A) were abducted by aliens or B) caught your pants on fire. There was a pause. Then, Brandon slowly laughed. "Hey, you must have inside information on that one." The dj laughed and reminded him that interviews could be dangerous. Obviously the answer is that he caught his pants on fire. But the funny part is how it happened. He was at a resteraunt with some others. He happened to have matches in his pants pocket. Somehow they rubbed each other and actually started a fire. First, he smelled it. He said to the others- "hey, something's burning." Then, he realized it was him. So, he got up and "yelled kind of like a girl." Then he started hitting his pocket with something to put out the fire. The funny part is that no one knew what was going on. The fire was not flaming, just burning to this point. Finally, he was able to explain what was happening when he showed them his burned pants pocket. I wish you could hear the story from him, because it was obviously funnier hearing it. But this was the best I could do. It was a nice laugh for the day and I thought you'd enjoy it! So, remember: no matches in the pants.

When You are Tempted to Quit

Last night I had a hard time sleeping. And I had a hard time being awake before that. In fact, it was a hard day. I gave myself the day off since I was feeling down in a way that needed to be addressed. I drove out to the gardens since we do not have a beach nearby. It was a gorgeous day. That is always good for a soul, to enjoy the day and all. Still, the day ended badly. My unhappiness: to be here alone, to be single, to be away from my friends and family, to not understand. Temptation was with me. I was not alert like the Bible tells us to be. I did not resist. I just gave in to unhappiness and self pity. I imagined all sorts of ways my life could be better. So, I woke up unrested for my clinic day, obviously not looking forward to going. One of my temptations these days in such times is to forget to call out to God- that He is merciful and compassionate and here to help me. Generous and more than enough no matter how trivial my problems may seem. He knows. Just as He Himself suffered when He was tempted, He also is able to help those who are being tempted (Hebrews 2:18).

In my desperation, I decided to read in some Corrie ten Boom. Which one this time? I grabbed Tramp for the Lord and opened exactly to the title of one her writings. The Title of the reading: When You are Tempted to Quit. I did not remember this one. So, I read on.

She talks of the enemy's persistance in attempting to discourage us. She says it is often not the big things that cause her to grow weary, but the number of small things that add up. She tells of a time she almost quit her work to the Lord because of a series of inconveniences. The final straw? No desk in her room.

She says how self pity sank in. She fell straight for it. I love to hear of the thoughts that filled her mind. The pattern of question sounds so familiar to me when I am tempted. They are the questions that give seed to doubt. Hers: "Why must you always live out of your suitcases? Stay at home and then you won't have trouble with customs officials, passports, luggage, plane connections, and other things. Every night you can sleep in the same bed, and there are no earthquakes in Holland. After all, you are no longer young. You've lived like a tramp for many years. Let someone else do the work. You've earned your reward ...Everyone will understand!" She was over 80 years old. Who wouldn't agree with her desire to rest? So, what does Corrie do? She wrote a letter to a friend telling of her retiring. She says that she is tired of traveling. She needs a desk- a big one- in front of a window in her room and an easy chair- a very easy one- on the right... She had it all planned out.

Fortunately she asked the Lord what He thought about all this? So, she picked up her Bible. She opened to Romans 10. It talks of the people needing a preacher to hear the His words so they can believe. That happened to be her job- preaching to give His word that others may believe. She thought for a bit. She remembered it is not our job to give God instructions, but to report for duty. So, she wrote her friend again. She wrote: "Forget that last letter I wrote. I am not coming home to Holland. I refuse to spend the rest of my life in a pasture when there are so many fields to harvest. I hope to die in harness." ... What a lady.

Once again, God uses the Dutch watchmaker who died when I was three and I have not met, to inspire me to continue in His ways that are opposite to the ways of the world I live in. Sometimes there is not a person who can help us to make sense of His leading when it makes no sense to us. After all, who can understand the mind of the Lord? (Isaiah 40:13) But, thank you God for Corrie ten Boom. Thank you for each other. Thank you for your Holy Spirit who helps us and guides us. The Comforter. Thank you that when we don't know or understand you lead us still (Proverbs 3:5,6).

Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been proved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love him. James 1:12

Now thanks be to God who ALWAYS leads us in triumph in Christ, and through us diffuses the fragrance of His knowledge in every place. 2 Corinthians 2:14

Just for Kicks

At the beginning of the term we had to make an adjustment in our diet for Nutrition class. We were supposed to pick something that was a weak point for us. Then, for two weeks we were to make a change. We were allowed to cheat, but had to write it down. I chose to limit myself to three sweets a week. I did not think that would be too hard since I occasionally knock them out all together for a week. We had to write a journal about our experience. I came across mine the other day. I had to laugh at a few of the entries- and I was not trying to be funny. This is my real journal. I will pick the funniest ones to share with you.

1: This is my first day of limiting myself to three sweet per week for two weeks. I forgot I was doing this and had a delicious piece of dark chocolate. It was yummy, but very small. So, if I had remembered, I would have waited to eat something bigger.

2: I really wanted an oatmeal raisin cookie today. I don't even love them, I just have them. I was even telling myself that it is not even a sweet- it is practically bread:). But I decided to stick to my plan. I ate a big chunk of whole grain bread dipped in olive oil and basil instead. It was delicious.

3: Passing up on the cake at graduation was not as hard as passing up the chocolates I bought for graduation presents. They are so yummy. I kept thinking it would be okay if I cheated as long as I wrote it down. But I decided not to since self control is good to practice.

4: Cheated today. Debbie and I were on the road and I was hungry. We had a healthy lunch, but snickers for snack. I did pass on the incredible Lindt dark chocolate ball though.

It reminded me of the time I gave up sweets for the month and found the fig newtons you had surprised me with in the fridge. That little accented voice in my head said, "it's not a cookie, it's a newton."

So, there we have it. Although my tolerance for sweets has gone down over the years, I like my dark chocolates. Yeah, and apparantly I even like Snickers and oatmeal raisin cookies when I can't have them:).

The Shadow and the Gold

We finished our first term of our second year on Tuesday. It was my last Interpersonal Relationships and Communication Class ever. Because of this, our teacher decided to end the night with an activity. It is called the Shadow and the Gold. Have you heard of this? You have to sit in the middle of the class and say something about yourself that gets in the way from growing, or that trips you up in life. We were supposed to say at least two, preferably three. Then, three people also say something they see. Then, after everyone goes, we have to go back up and say two or three things we see in ourselves that we like. Again, three or more people chime in. If you have ever done this, you know it is a difficult thing to do. First, to share about yourself. Then to hear from others what they see. We were technically allowed to pass (we would not fail), but he strongly encouraged us to participate. Something neat happened to me though. The Lord prepared me to let the others see me. I do not remember if it was before our teacher stated the activity or just before my own turn. I just recall Him puting it in my heart to let others see me. This in itself is something that gets in my way- my unwillingness to be seen. It is also something I have not wanted. So, I listened to Him. I remembered His words to me and that He was with me. I agreed to be willing to let the others see me and to be as honest as I know how. So, I was not nervous. I walked up and sat down.

First, we worked on the the shadow. The things I shared about myself : my tendency to become defensive in situations that require vulnerability (including midwifery school and all that comes with it), my stubborness, and getting stuck in a negative mindset sometimes when I have a hurdle to jump. What did they say about me? One: that I have it so together that she is concerned I do not have enough fun... Two: that I am always composed, but she thinks I should relax more and cuss and get drunk and stuff... Three: I used to be quiet- she used to think I did not want to be known, but thinks differently now... We made our rounds. Then to the Gold... For myself: that I am genuine, that I am loyal, and that some of the things that people complain about or don't like doing that I actually LOVE doing them and that I enjoy life so much. Then the others: My teacher: that the way I live matches with what I believe and that He sees a lot of integrity and believes this is an important quality to make me a great midwife... classmate/friend: that even though I am little, I am one of the strongest women she knows... next: even though my beliefs are strong that I don't exclude others who do not share the same beliefs and that I accept everyone... next: She's just so doggone nice:).

The judgements that I have perceived along the way in midwifery school for living the way that I do (a very different life and very much unappealing to those around me) has been my one of my biggest challenges of school. So, it was good to hear some high compliments, especially who it came from. But as nice as it is to hear, I remember that ultimately it does not matter what compliments or complaints are said about me. It matters what He says about us. And as I sat in that chair on Tuesday night, I knew that I am approved and esteemed by the One whose judgement counts. I knew that His power is made perfect in weakness. I knew that my Redeemer lives and that one day He will stand again on the earth. I knew that the things that others see that are gold is the work that He has done in my life and that He is worthy to be praised. And one day every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. Until then, may we be found faithful.

Happy Thanksgiving

My visit home was a real treat as it was unexpected. It was fun to see Laura on the way down as well. I took a picture of the outfit I wore to church on Sunday. I had to laugh at the way that Charleston ladies suffer in the name of culture, i.e. wear a skirt in the 30 degrees cold. I knew that I could wear pants and have done it before. But, it sure does make Dad happy for us to wear skirts. Why not? The only shoes available? Yes, your black ones. You know how I feel about those:). Which reminds me. I was describing a couple of the differences between you and I today. The two that I mentioned were the difference of pace between the two of us and the difference in fashion. I explained that one year after I tell you please not to wear something that I come around.

Back in Gainesville... It has been nice to be at the Farmers. I enjoy that Jody likes to rearrange the furniture. It is fun to have different scenery each time- like Robert and Lindsay. Champ has been good. I enjoyed my Thanksgiving dinner with the Phillips. We had fun playing Clue, preparing the rest of the food, and most of all eating. I could not have enjoyed my day anymore if I was with my own family. Poor Kristen cried when her oldest son said the turkey was dry. We were all doing our best not to laugh since it was so unexpected. We recovered well that our turkey was just fine. Spencer (8) sang us the Twelve Days of Christmas after walking by with his third roll after he was about to blow up. I got home fairly early. I tried the tv with no luck. So, when I tried to turn it off somehow the DVD player came on. (Usually it takes me about three days). So, I took advantage and watched The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Champ managed to sleep through the battle scene. Then, when it actually was time for bed he was wide awake.

Leftovers with the Wagners last night. They told me to go first and then made fun of me when they saw my plate. I was not sure if they meant I did not have enough or too much. It looked just right to me. So, when I sat down to the table and saw their meager platefuls I realized too much. Wonder what they would think if they saw our family's Thanksgiving?! ...Watched the Gators with Kendra's family. They won a good game against FSU in the rain. The quarterback is famous in these parts and well liked: Tim Tebow. Have you heard of him? We liked the joke on him. The joke was that Superman wears Tim Tebow pajamas to sleep in. We thought that was a good one :).

So, here I am back in Gainesville. For whatever reason this is the place that the Lord has me to live in. When I walked Champ down the road tonight I was glad to be here. I remembered that the Lord is with me and that He has always been with me. He will enable me to walk in each way He has just in the right time... He satisfies me deeply.

A Little Bit of This and That

Here is a glimpse from the past few weeks.

Whataburger: So, it was 10:00 on a Wednesday night. My soup and grapes were long gone. I was hungry and craving a burger. My plan was to look for somewhere to stop between the church and my house. So, I asked around for the nearest burger place. Hannah mentioned Whataburger. That sounded fun to me since I have never been there before. It looked closed from the stoplight. I was wondering where else I could go when I saw the 24 hr sign. I was getting very excited by now. So, I ordered my meal and drove up. I was probably the most excited customer of the whole day- it isn't often I get a fast food meal for a late snack. Then, he asked if I would like some ketchup. Sure- since I was going to pull over into the parking lot across the street. I didn't want to just eat this burger and fries but enjoy every minute of it. So, next thing I know he pulls out the kind of ketchup I have always imagined every fast food place should have. Without thinking, I very excitedly exlaimed, "I LOVE your ketchup!". He looked surprised and kind of laughed. I was too excited to even care that I must have sounded silly. I happily drove away with my Whataburger, fries, and unsweet tea- hey, gotta get my money's worth, and my good ketchup. It was delicious!

Zoe: Transitioning from the role of birth assistant to midwife is challenging. One of the midwives gave me a "be the midwife talk" after a recent birth. Think like the midwife. Be the midwife. I was glad for the talk though it was hard to hear.

Sammy: So, on Sunday night we had our Operation Christmas Child dinner at church. We all sat at tables enjoying our potluck, then got to pack the boxes. It was a lot of fun. Sammy sat next to me to eat. We were listening to the speaker give a brief talk about the ministry. Then, Sammy leans over to me and asks me if I ate the rest of her cake. I looked down at her empty plate and then at her face to see if she was joking. I don't think she was. I laughed quietly and shook my head no. She asked "who ate my cake?" This is all very quiet since the man is speaking. We silently laughed together and I gave her a hug from behind.

Kendra: On Sunday after church a group of us went out to lunch together. Kendra saw her roomie at the same resteraunt. She stopped by our table before leaving. So, Kendra decided to introduce us to her roomie and her cousin. She introduced the first person. Then, she skipped me and went on to someone else. It was like she forgot my name except that she knows it. Plus we have been spending a good bit of time together. So, she ended with me and then they left. Then she told us that she really had forgotten my name! We all laughed pretty hard. The funniest part is that I was just talking about that with Kate and Maryann the night before- forgetting my friends names sometimes since I have been in midwifery school. We had many laughs at lunch on Sunday.

Muriah: Today in Nutrition we had case studies. Muriah got a really hard one with someone who had a terrible diet that she had to talk it over with. By the end, she just said, "No, half and half in your cereal is just ridiculous. No more of that!" We had many good laughs during that counseling session.

...Taking deep breaths. Saying yes to the responsibilities and role of a midwife. This is it. Time to really step in and do this thing.

The Jebusites said to David, "You will not get in here; even the blind and the lame can ward you off." They thought, David cannot get in here. Nevertheless, David captured the fortress of Zion, the City of David... And he became more and more powerful, because the Lord God Almighty was with him. And David knew that the Lord had established him as king over Israel and had exalted his kingdom for the sake of his people Israel. 2 Samuel 5:6b,10,12 (yes, I remember you giving me this verse last year- I have it saved in my drawer)

Miss you and can't wait to see you soon- how exciting!

I Just Love Birth!

Oh, I just got home from a WONDERFUL birth. I have not felt this rejuvinated after a birth since the summer time. I know it helped that I did not have to do much work and no clean up:). We had a couple go into the hospital this morning for some possible complications. They had to be induced and had not planned on going to the hospital. I was given the choice if I wanted to go with them and provide labor support. The Lord gave me a desire to be with them and not to worry about my work that I need to get done. The birth was super beautiful. The mom did so wonderful. She and the dad were glad that I was there. I was glad I was there. It was perfect. Before and during the birth, I just kept thinking what an honor this is to be a part of someone's birth. It is truly an honor. I loved it.

I also had a really nice day. Next Step went really well this a.m. We were praying at the end and a man stuck his head in our "classroom" aka closet and asked "is there a vacuum in there?" I guess he did not see us praying. We were all smiling with our eyes closed. He apologized. We started laughing.

Hannah and I had snack duty after church and that went well. I enjoyed that so much and look forward to the next round:). Betty's baby shower/tea party was fun too. During the games we realized that we have a pretty competitive group of ladies at Servants!

Now as I have come home from the birth, I am happy to hopefully get a full night's sleep still. What a good day- to get to go to church, the baby shower, and a birth and still get sleep! Now that is my kind of a day. (It is really 11:30, not 8:30!)

Wilkommen in November

Or, I should have said, "Bienvenue a Novembre" since you are in Paris! I am thinking you may not check this until you return to the Black Forest though. Last night I decided to go for a walk after clinic. It was a beautiful day. I temporarily forgot it was Halloween. There were herds of people walking all along the streets with their children in costumes. We live in a great area for trick or treaters. I got only one knock on the door since the lights were off. I did not buy candy for trick or treaters. I did remember my stash of Andes mints. So, I ran to the kitchen excited to have my first trick or treater ever. But by the time I got to the door, they had left:(. It was for the better as I did not really want to be opening my door to the strangers in the dark. At clinic, our first couple came dressed as Jack Sparrow and his lady, Elizabeth Swan,from Pirates of the Carribean. It was great- I loved their outfits! I was tempted to tell them about our fab costumes that one year, but decided to keep to business:). It was cold this week (not like there!), but is warming a little again... I am reading in the story of David to keep strong. I admire him so much...

Now, I am very excited to share with you my first picture for my blog! I took it in August on my cell phone and it has taken me this long to figure out how to get it on here!

We put these signs up after each birth (or we offer to let the Dad do it). The picture is from the birth I mentioned in "It's a Bit Windy Out." I helped deliver the "Girl."

Hope that you have a great week, Anne.