One Year Ago Today

I realized this morning that one year ago today is the day that I moved to Gainesville. I remember reading in Corrie ten Boom the first Monday morning. She always makes me feel so much better. The reading I read that morning was a story about a time when she did not particularly want to do the thing that was put before her. She had just spent a year in Uganda on furlough, doctor's orders. She enjoyed so much sleeping in the same bed every night and the comfort of familiarity in that place. When she and her assistant prayed for God's guidance for the upcoming year He directed them clearly to Africa. She was getting older. She was tired. I imagine she felt she had done her time- I would if I were her. She tells how she was not excited about these plans for Africa. She was excited about her plans that she was making to stay in Uganda. But the Lord used a Rwandan pastor to help her to see that she was losing her first love and that indeed He was directing her to Africa. The pastor had no idea he was being used in this way. He was simply answering a question Corrie had asked to divert the conversation away from their request for her visit. She then remembered her first love and returned to follow Him and not herself and continued to minister to millions of more around the world. That is why my desk has a note with "Yes, Lord." I needed to remind myself so that I do not forget it is about Him and not me. I was empowered to be here after reading her story ... for about an hour... or maybe 20 minutes. I do not remember. I just remember sobbing almost the entire day. I am not talking about tears streaming down my face, but true heartbroken tears sobbing and sobbing. My heart was comforted that He had brought me here and would bless me. But I was weak and this was not what I would have chosen given that I did not believe in following His leading. I finally went out for a walk. It was my first walk around the duck pond that I enjoy so much. I have already told you about the beautiful rainbow that I saw that day and the assurance God gave my heart. It was the boldest rainbow I have ever seen and definately the one I have received the most from. He daily assured my heart my first few months here. I needed him to. Whenever I would get sad I just used to pray for ministry. I did not know how or when or what, but it satisfied me to pray that. I miss that. I remember clearly His assurance to my spirit that He will bless me and that this is the right way. It has been a shaky year. I have complained a lot, learned a LOT, been on lots of walks:), and waited a lot. But yesterday, not even realizing it had been a year, I smiled in my car driving down University Blvd thanking God for bringing me here to Gainesville even though I did not have the strength in myself to come. He knows the plans He has for us, plans to prosper us and not to harm us, plans of hope and for a future. One step... Then another... Then He will show the next as I walk. One step at a time until finally HOME.