New Mercies

It was one of those mornings that you just don't want to start the day... because the day before was one of those days you don't want to leave your home to come back to Florida. I was already wanting to be back in Charleston before I even left this time. It was a comfort to know I am coming to a good home and to loving friends and a job that I love. But, still the ache is just there and the thoughts, "is this really how I want to be spending my life? Will I regret being away so much? That is really what I want..."

So, I was so very glad to have brought one of my Corrie books back with me. I opened this morning to just the message I needed. I read the story she tells of Zonneduin. It is the home that her sis had a vision was to be opened after the war. It would be a place for healing to those who were darkened from the harsh conditions of the concentration camp. The home was part of the revelation, at least. The other part was that they were to go all over the world telling of God's love despite the deepest darkness and how his forgiveness is without limits. What a blessing that house must have been to Corrie- the fruit of her dear sister's vision, LIFE after cruelty, beauty, and a home for herself. She describes a room of her own with her pictures, paintings, and books on the bookshelf.

A girl whom Corrie was telling about the home asked her why she didn't stay there when she liked it so much. She was quiet for a moment to listen to the song of a nightingale. Then, she answered, " My life doesn't belong to me. I must follow where the Lord leads. I was bought at a high price and must be obedient to the One who purchased me." The girl commented that seemed an awfully costly way to life. Corrie agreed that it is, but that is more costly to disobey. She goes on to think of those around the world who need the message. She remembers that she is weak and only effective connected to the Vine... Not good if detached.

She finishes with the scripture: Now to Him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before His glory without fault and with unspeakable joy, to the only wise God, our Savior, be glory and majesty, power and authority, now and ever. Amen."

Strength to my heart. Quiet to my soul. In my weakness, I asked the Lord to please just speak to me. Almost as soon as I asked, I yielded knowing He had not only spoken, but perfectly. I got up off the floor where I had been seated. I gathered my belongings for work. I did this as an act of agreement to move forward in trust.

And because He holds us when we would fall, my heart is content without what I want. I know He is with me. I know that He cares. He has a plan. And it's not about me. It is good. He IS worth it. It will be worth it... To the God of my life.